Social Cataclysm

There's a scene in the movie Hitch that takes place in a bar. It has something to do with two Grey Goose Martinis, a few terrible pick-up lines, and a certain "#@$% off" sign. I'm sure you remember this epic scene if you've seen the movie. I find it fascinating that Hitch could look across the room, and by simply observing the actions of the sardonic Sarah Melas, deduce exactly how to shut off her "sign" and pique her curiosity.

I've been told I wear that sign on occasion, too. I find that fascinating as well.

I love to observe people. As I'm sure you've already gathered from my previous post, as a child, I was extremely extroverted. As I've grown older, however, I've learned to keep my mouth shut and listen more. That simple action of listening apparently binds itself to a certain facial expression of mine that says, as mentioned, "$%#@ off." Unfortunately, that couldn't be further from the truth, but we'll save that discussion for another day.

A great friend to me on campus was kind enough to inform me of the sign I supposedly wear on my forehead during these times of observation. I apologize in advance to the reader if you've gathered this impression from me. If indeed you have felt my "gaze of impending doom", know that I was simply watching you as opposed to spurning you. But, I digress; back to the topic at hand.

My observations as of late, involving not only others but myself as well, is one of a gradually swelling social cataclysm, which someday in the near future can be expected to implode.

Selfishness. Oh, it's more than just the Sunday school word we've all rolled our eyes at at some point in time. We all believe we know exactly what selfishness is, where exactly it rears its ugly head, and how exactly we shouldn't exercise it. From what I've deduced, that is not only a vain and conceited thought, but the fruits of a way of thought.

To think that our eyes see everything is foolish. To think that we see all the "logs" relating to selfishness in our own eyes, or in others' eyes, is foolish. The fact of the matter is, is that we will never be able to count the number of ways one can act selfishly, especially when it pertains to relationships with others.

Consider these quotes:

"Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live; it is asking others to live as one wishes to live."

~Oscar Wilde

"One of the greatest diseases is to be nobody to anybody."

~ Mother Teresa

"The one who loves the least, controls the relationship."

~ Dr. Robert Anthony

Finally,

"The selfishness must be discovered and understood before it can be removed. It is powerless to remove itself, neither will it pass away of itself. Darkness ceases only when Light is introduced; so Ignorance can only be dispersed by Knowledge; Selfishness by Love."

~ James Allen

Learn to truly love- to love deep, to love wide, and to love lavishly. To love is to sacrifice your own desires, your own goals, your own dreams, your own opportunities, your own recognitions, for betterment of the ones around you.

"Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one's life for his friends." - John 15:13

Many interpret this scripture in way that says, "die for a friend, and you'll truly know how to love." While this remains true, as Christ so graciously demonstrated, we miss the opportunity to exercise a kind of "death" in our everyday lives that nurtures love. Death to the self, to live for others. That is love. That is selflessness. That is servanthood.

That is Christ, the Man we are to strive to be like, and so epically fail.

The social cataclysm I see growing in our generation is craftily concealing itself in such subtleties, that they will cause division and strife. I urge the reader to examine the motives of their hearts in correlation with their relationships, and to pray for the insight to see their particular areas of selfishness. The devil is a crafty one, and I encourage you, the reader, to fight him on the "splinter" level, not just the "log" level.

Truly,

Riley

"Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own? Or how can you say to your brother, "Let me take the speck out of your eye," when there is a log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye." - Matthew 7:1-5

Identity Crisis

This blog is the beginning of the end to my journal writing life.

I never saw the point in getting a "Web Log", the real name for a blog, especially since I possess a good number of pens and journals due to a silly fetish. (I have a collection of random office supplies that would stock Staples for a year.) The idea of my personal life, my thoughts, the things I keep dearest to my heart displayed for all the world to see is certainly not as appealing as the privacy and intimacy of a journal. Then again, I've never been the most private person, either.

As a child, I was extremely extroverted, enjoying activities such as dancing, singing, and performing. I'd say "hello" to passersby from my seat in the grocery cart, discuss Jesus with strangers, and tell the hairdresser about my parent's financial difficulties. Yes, as a child, I definitely lacked discretion, and my shortage in tact continued through my teen years. It provided me with a countless number of lectures on the different meanings of the word "modest".

For example, when I was sixteen, I learned modesty in behavior, the hard way. I had a close friend of 5 years- too close- until January of 2007. He had strong feelings for me for the duration of our friendship, and I made the mistake of flirtatiously leading him on. My family warned me- lectured me, pleaded with me- as to what lay ahead if I continued flirting, but I didn't heed them. My behavior resulted in two hurt hearts and a lost friend.

I learned another very hard lesson in modesty in December of 2007. The situation was unique, to say the least, and I wasn't mentally or emotionally prepared for what lay ahead. I had invested so much of my time, my identity, and my emotions into two of my closest friends, a Jonny and Alyssa, and couldn't dream of the anguish that their relationship would cause. They began to date in November, and I obviously became the third wheel. The fact that Jonny could deceive and manipulate like no one else didn't help the situation either- especially when I discovered that it was the reason my girlfriend was jealous and angry with me. He had been feeding her lies about me and my conduct so smoothly and deceptively, she grew angry and jealous, and refused to talk to me. She still refuses to talk to me.

Long story short, I had been so immodest with my identity, with what I stood for, I became who I associated myself with. As a result, I lost my sense of purpose when I lost them as my friends. All at once, those daddy-daughter discussions on modesty sunk in. I swallowed hard, turned to the Lord, and gave Him the mess I had created of myself to fix in any way He desired.

That dramatic episode came to a close a while ago, and I have certainly learned to apply modesty in all areas of my life. Granted, I'm not perfect, but who is other than our Savior? I'm simply thankful that He embraces all of me, my faults and flaws, forgiven and forgotten. Now, I place my identity in Christ's and my heart in His hands, offering what I can and will to serve Him.

So, maybe there is a purpose to this blog, other than my innermost thoughts casually jotted down for all to see. Maybe dislodging my journal contents to the World Wide Web will be worthwhile: perhaps there's a ministry here.

We shall see.

Yours truly,

Riley