Walt started out of his afternoon nap, gasping and grunting. "What could the kid possibly want now? His mother laid out a snack for him and Hector already. He usually doesn't say much when he hasn't eaten after school," he thought to himself as he pulled a pair of checkered shorts on, dubbed "cool" by his son.
"DAAAAAAAAADDDD!!!!!!!!!!"
"I'm COMING, Jeremy!" Walt responded. Teenagers... Walt sluggishly trumped down the stairs towards the biggest stress in his life.
"DAD! Dad, look!" exclaimed Jeremy, angrily, "WHY is my baby picture in the yearbook?!" Walt took the yearbook, still smelling of new binding and printed paper, and glanced at the mentioned picture.
"That's you? Geez, you were chubby. What's on your chin?" commented Walt.
"DAD..."
"I dunno, son, I dunno. Ask your mother."
Jeremy stormed towards the basement where he assumed his mom was doing laundry. Connie was whistling the theme to "Rock Lobster" by the B-52's, shuffling through the pockets of Jeremy's jeans for the change from the movie he might have forgotten to return to her.
"MOM! WHY is my baby picture in the yearbook?!" Jeremy shouted down the stairs.
"Jeremy, if you want to talk to me, at least come into the same room as I am. Yelling from up there is rude."
Jeremy, pounding one foot after another on the wood staircase he busted his chin on as a toddler, asked his pertinent question one more time.
"Oh! You're gym teacher's secretary called and asked me for it," Connie replied, uninterested. "He said he was going to create some kind of guessing game to put in the sports section."
"Why am I the only one with a photo, then, MOM?" accused Jeremy.
"Don't ask me, honey! Ask Pierce! He's the one who made the call. Plus, it's a cute picture, one of my favorites. Even Mrs. Schmitz complimented me on it."
"Mrs. Schmitz is ugly and old, Mom. And Pierce is on the yearbook staff! Are you crazy?!?"
Connie sighed. "Did you eat your snack yet?" she said, dismissively.
Connie could almost hear the gears grinding in Jeremy's head as he marched upstairs in a fit to eat. She hoped he wouldn't hold it against her for too long- it would look bad if he didn't acknowledge her at the Mother-Son dance at the school she was surprising him with. By the time she finished collecting spare change from Jeremy's pockets, a total of $30.57, Jeremy had already hatched a payback plan.
"YOU'RE SO ON WIKIPEDIA MOM!!!" he shouted. She sighed again.
---
After combing his few hairs and brushing his teeth, Walt sauntered back into the kitchen to find Jeremy thoughtfully finishing a plate of carrots and ranch dressing- the perfect mother-made snack.
"Did you find out why your picture was in that book?" he asked.
"Mom did it. Mom did it, and she doesn't even care how she's martyred my reputation at school."
"So, what are you going to do about that?" asked Walt.
"Her face is going on Wikipedia. Under "humiliation"," Jeremy mumbled as he walked away from the table, leaving his empty plate and puddles of dressing on the table.
Walt sighed. "Someday," he thought, "someday I'll figure him out......... What's wikipedia?" He decided to "google" it when Jeremy was finished with his homework that evening.
---
"Can I have some money, Dad? I want to take Sara out to a movie tonight. Her parents are driving," begged Jeremy after dinner. Walt rotated the computer chair towards Jeremy after searching for this "Wikipedia" site online, and mustered a twenty out of his wallet. "Be safe, and let me know when you get there. Make good choices," said Walt, as Jeremy walked away.
Connie walked in just as Walt discovered the search box for Wikipedia. "Walt, Jeremy mentioned something about my face under "humiliation" in Wikipedia. Would you mind searching it while you're there?" She folded laundry as he typed it in.
"Yup. Here it is, all right. Jeremy wasn't kidding. He really did add your picture to the Wikipedia article on "Humiliation"," Walt stated.
Connie stopped folding laundry and reflected on the day. "ALL I DID WAS PUT YOUR BABY PICTURE IN THE YEARBOOK!" she shouted downstairs, just as Jeremy slammed the front door and hopped in the car with Sara.
"C'mere honey. Help me figure out how to make it go away," Walt said calmly. Connie contemplated all the punishments she could use for this disrespectful action, and by the time her husband gave up trying to erase her picture from the World Wide Web (hours later), she had a payback plan.
And the vicious cycle continued.
